One Tough Tittie

Redefinition

Wed, 21 Nov 2012 08:23:16 -0500

This is my Stockdale Paradox

the telling of my brutal realities

my innocent mistakes turned bad choices

My love.. My lust…

…my faith in humanity

My sometimes jaded search for a companion…

My Loves Jones.. My Serendipity..

My capacity to fight

and appreciate the lessons suffering can teach me

Miami has renewed my inspiration and vision to write…...

Mon, 23 Jul 2012 00:51:46 -0400

Miami has renewed my inspiration and vision to write… Check it out… It’s called The Haunting

On repeat… Real music …. Rare talent (Taken with...

Tue, 10 Jul 2012 22:32:57 -0400

On repeat… Real music …. Rare talent (Taken with Instagram)

Taking it slow and loving it! ^_^ (Taken with Instagram)

Sat, 07 Jul 2012 01:23:47 -0400

Taking it slow and loving it! ^_^ (Taken with Instagram)

LA and her great grandmother (Taken with instagram)

Mon, 28 May 2012 18:27:07 -0400

LA and her great grandmother (Taken with instagram)

Breakfast (Taken with instagram)

Thu, 24 May 2012 09:57:58 -0400

Breakfast (Taken with instagram)

This face!!!!!! OKC!!!!!!! (Taken with instagram)

Mon, 21 May 2012 23:32:16 -0400

This face!!!!!! OKC!!!!!!! (Taken with instagram)

Taken with instagram

Sun, 20 May 2012 12:29:00 -0400

Taken with instagram

Sun, 20 May 2012 00:51:33 -0400

Taken with instagram

Leigh and Papa Fred lol (Taken with instagram)

Sat, 19 May 2012 12:35:05 -0400

Leigh and Papa Fred lol (Taken with instagram)

Good Morning (Taken with instagram)

Sat, 19 May 2012 09:43:36 -0400

Good Morning (Taken with instagram)

I am responding to a discussion for my qualitative research...

Sat, 14 Jan 2012 10:27:51 -0500

I am responding to a discussion for my qualitative research class and so I looked up this professor from Kansas, Michael Wesch. This is an excellent video that explains social media, web 2.0, etc. I like this video because it really makes you think critically about what he calls our “media-scape”. Check it out.

Now honey… this is cute!

Fri, 30 Dec 2011 21:28:06 -0500

Now honey… this is cute!

This is my life! My new favorite addiction. I randomly stumbled...

Thu, 29 Dec 2011 21:52:44 -0500

This is my life! My new favorite addiction. I randomly stumbled upon this web series while trying to get re-acquainted with YouTube. This is funny stuff. Please watch and support! I promise you will get addicted.

Ok. So I am on this dating “site”. I will refrain...

Sun, 04 Dec 2011 10:37:55 -0500

Ok. So I am on this dating “site”. I will refrain from using its name to protect my ego. Anyhow. I meet this man. We start emailing. He leaves his phone number and states I can call “if I have time”. I thought about it and… what the heck? So, I text him while I am at work and it turns out he was a psycho… and to make matters worse religion was plastered all over his “profile” and he claims to be a gospel rapper. Ha! Needless to say I will not be returning to this site.

Dear Santa:

Sun, 04 Dec 2011 01:59:51 -0500

I have been VERY naughty but more nice this year considering I refrained from bodying my daughter’s father more than once. I have enclosed the last revision of my wishlist.

$367,000/year for 10 years (or… I guess a scratch off could do)
Please make my coworker stop asking me for “fifty cents” everyday
A decent man ( or… A rabbit vibrator will do)
The strength to say no to BBQ EVERY Friday
Oh and can you please make me a morning person

Best,

“B”

Why not donate?

Tue, 29 Nov 2011 19:10:54 -0500

Why not donate?:

As I skimmed one of my favorite blogs… necolebitchie.com I came across this news. Sean Combs son, Justin Combs, was awarded a full scholarship to UCLA to play division I football. While I applaud his hard work (he has a 3.37 GPA!) and athletic prowess I do think that his parents can afford a UCLA education.

This post reminds me of a conversation I had today with a couple of my co-workers about HBCUs versus and traditionally white institutions. I talked about my memorable experience at Howard University and how I felt that the oppurtunity to attend an HBCU is a true gift and privledge for any man or woman of color. But and there is a big butt(no pun intended)…that “gift” is reserved for the most fortunate especially if we are talking about a private HBCU.

So for an hour my co-workers and I debated the differences between private-public…HBCU no HBCU and finally we all came to the consensus that it depends on who is donating or giving back to thier schools. We all fell out in laughter when we realized that none of us give back. Three alumni from Hampton University, William and Mary, and Norfolk State University. No donors. Why? I mean, I am here saying that Justin Combs should donate his scholarship to someone deserving but I have failed to give back to my own alma mater. I have my degree because of the generous contributions made to my school…. pulls out check book…..$20.00. It’s a start…

I love this man. He understands…

Sun, 27 Nov 2011 10:35:04 -0500

I love this man. He understands…

Dream Seller

Fri, 11 Nov 2011 13:20:00 -0500

In one fleeting moment of love, my entire life would change.

Well, maybe it was a moment of lust rather, I don’t know and it really doesn’t matter because the outcome’s the same.

I love you, I’ll take care of you is all I thought I needed to hear and when I heard it

it’s just like I stopped. I stopped putting myself first and I dedicated all my soul’s energy to his happiness. Every woman wants a prince charming. Why did I have to be in any different. I mean he didn’t ride in on any white horse. But he was willing to listen…

And maybe that was the problem; he listened a little too hard. But I was too busy rapped up in this fairytale dream he sold me to pay attention…

He was listening to my fears and anxieties so that he could itemize my self-reported suffering and know exactly what to do right. Before I knew it, I was okay with anything because he had me thinking he saved my life.

That was just my first mistake in a 5 year long line of many. But then again should I blame myself for loving him so freely? I mean Snow White and Cinderella didn’t have to background check and fingerprint thier prince! And they didn’t harbor any inherent feeling bout who thier men were or might become according to popular opinion.

Just because I am not them doesn’t mean that I am undeserving of their dreams and it certainly doesn’t mean that some artificial lost individual can keep selling me and my sisters dreams like a dope man serving fiends.

Don’t get me wrong. I know that life isn’t a fairytale but what you sold me wasn’t even close. I thought you would love me and take are of me but you tried to suffocate my hope for anything other than a man who loves with his fists and takes care of himself.

Yeah, you sold me some JUNK

but that was 5 years ago.

Today I am 6 months sober and my dream HAS NOT BEEN DEFERRED.

Brea Watkins

To Have Loved a Monster

Fri, 11 Nov 2011 13:01:09 -0500

I gave you my everything

Oh! Doesn’t it sound cute. But really I gave you my everything loser.

You sold me a dream (we would wed and live happily ever after)

but reality was less interesting

In fact it was more painful, I mean not just the emotional pains the pains in the middle of your gut that you feel when some one or something is digging its way out.

Maybe its the woman I used to be or that I would have become before I met you. Now I know what it feels like to have your will stamped out of you. For my inner voice to be lost in the haze of rage and violence

I never felt shame the way that I did when that plate of shrimp and steak wizzed by my head. I never new fear until I was unsure about whether or not the hands wrapped around my neck would loosen

And suddenly sitting in class learning about abstract theories and remote human suffering seemed so not relevant to my shame

To my pain, to the hate I felt for you for ruining that dream you sold me. But at the same time I stayed. I stayed because I loved you.

NO, I stayed because I pitied you. No one else could love a monster.

Brea Watkins